Martine McCutcheon has shared another reflective social media post after the passing of her brother LJ who died aged 31 without medical explanation. The heartbroken TV star, 46, took to Instagram last week to share the tragic news that her only sibling Laurence John, aka LJ who had a mild form of special needs died two weeks ago.
The actress gave her 542k followers a life update on Sunday alongside a sweet photo of herself cuddling up to her son Rafferty, seven, explaining he ‘needs me no matter what’. The lengthy caption read: ‘This little monkey needs me no matter what… He keeps me keeping on.
‘I’ve mostly felt out of my body and on auto pilot – I think that’s my way of being able to deal with my shock and grief, along with my responsibilities simultaneously And then suddenly, with no apparent trigger, waves of emotion have come crashing over me… If I’m alone, or with Jack in a safe space I allow it.’
‘We’ve been busy this week and weekend and it definitely seems to help me when I see the world continuing to spin and life ticking along… But I can’t help but look at people and wonder what their story of grief is? Life isn’t always easy and I think human beings are so brave… I’m in awe.
Martine continued: ‘I know grief is an expression of the huge love I felt for my brother and that I must feel that too in order to heal. I also find talking about him and laughing at some of the good times helps me to balance the sadness scales every so slightly.
She signed off by saying: ‘Have a wonderful week, Thank you again for all of your strength, love and words of encouragement – I can’t begin to possibly explain how much it has helped us. Look after each other.’
She said the website designer had been due to get married to his fiancée Jay Eaton, 49, in a month’s time and Martine, who was going to be bridesmaid, had seen her brother just a few days before he had died.
‘Rafferty is on half term now so it will be nice to relax a little with the everyday routine and go with the flow a bit. I have some work on this week which also seems to help me but I’m going to make sure I see the ocean (my healing place) and make some memories with my little one during his holidays.
Sharing a couple of photos of LJ earlier this week, Martine wrote: ‘My heart is forever broken, My baby brother, my gentle giant, sadly passed away, suddenly, 2 weeks ago. He was 31 years old.
‘There is no medical explanation as to why we lost him so soon and whilst we investigate further, we are having to accept that nothing will bring our boy back to us. ‘He made us all laugh and loved nothing more than making a plan, having a great play list, bringing people together and generally having a giggle.’
She returned to work on Thursday, admitting she ‘felt’ his presence after he passed away ‘without medical explanation.’ The former EastEnders actress confirmed the tragic news of Laurence John’s passing on Tuesday where she admitted her ‘heart is forever broken’.
She said: ‘Hi everyone, I hope you’re well, It’s my first time on Instagram since I shared my post about losing my brother a couple of weeks ago’.‘Firstly, thank you so much for the outpouring of love, it means so much to my family.’ ‘Today was my first day going back to work, I didn’t know if I could do it or not – I was nervous, a bit of filming and a meeting and I’m so glad I did it.
Taking to her Instagram Stories, the grieving star thanked her followers for their outpouring of love and said her beloved brother would want her to ‘carry on’. And in a candid video she spoke directly to the camera as she opened up about her devastating loss.
She continued: ‘I know my brother would want me to keep on keeping on and he was so proud of me and the fact that I liked to inspire people and make them feel good and give them a little bit of magic where I could’. ‘I felt him with me, and I did it, first day back. I did it.’
Soulmate: After EastEnders star Martine confirmed the tragic news of Laurence John’s death on Tuesday, his partner Jay Eaton shared her tribute with the caption: ‘forever my soul mate x.’ Alongside the emotional clip she penned: ‘Thank you for your support. Getting back to it bit by bit. I know LJ would want me to carry on’.
Following the news of his passing, his partner Jay Eaton shared her online tribute with the caption: ‘Forever my soulmate x.’ Jay, 49 was due to marry Laurence John, aka LJ, in a month’s time with Martine set to be the bridesmaid.
‘He was proud of me and understood why I do what I do. Grief is a strange old thing and there is no one way to navigate it but it felt good to do some work. I was nervous but I did it.’ It comes after the heartbroken fiancée of Martine brother posted a series of moving pictures of the two of them together.