Barbara Corcoran, the renowned real estate mogul and co-star of “Shark Tank,” has never shied away from being provocative. When she turned 70, she staged a mock funeral, a move she described as a way to “shock the shit out of my friends.” The stunt, which turned heads and sparked conversations, was in line with her vibrant personality. For her 75th birthday this past spring, Corcoran opted for a more subdued celebration, spending time in the Cayman Islands with friends who surprised her by dressing up as her. While these experiences reflect her playful spirit, they also mask a deeper concern that weighs heavily on her mind: the fear of developing Alzheimer’s disease.
Corcoran’s apprehension about Alzheimer’s isn’t unfounded. The disease has affected her family deeply, claiming the life of her mother, Florence, who passed away from the condition 12 years ago at the age of 88. “A couple of months ago, I found my phone in the freezer,” Corcoran recalls, reflecting on a moment that alarmed her and led her to undergo cognitive tests. Fortunately, her tests confirmed she does not have the disease, but the fear lingers, fueled by her mother’s long battle with Alzheimer’s.
The journey through her mother’s illness was a lengthy and painful one for Corcoran and her family. It began with minor forgetfulness—misplacing glasses or forgetting names—but quickly escalated. The turning point came when her mother woke up in her younger brother’s apartment and didn’t recognize where she was. That moment galvanized Corcoran and her nine siblings to form a care team, determined to navigate the difficult path ahead.
Her brother T took the lead by enrolling in a course on caring for Alzheimer’s patients, and he became a critical resource for the family. “He taught all of us how to care for her and we all got on the same page,” Corcoran explains. This collective approach helped them understand how to communicate with their mother effectively. For example, when she would scream about seeing a snake under her bed, instead of dismissing her fears, the siblings would enter the room and “beat the hell out of it,” embracing her reality rather than contradicting it.
The family also learned to handle her mother’s repeated grief over their deceased father. Rather than continually reminding her of his passing, they opted to tell her he was “warming up the car.” This strategy provided her mother with comfort, even as she sometimes regressed to carrying a baby doll for emotional support.
Despite the humor and teamwork among the siblings, the experience was profoundly sad for Corcoran. “Watching her fade away was just very sad, more than anything else. She was a love bug,” she reflects, acknowledging the emotional toll it took on her family.
Navigating caregiving with her siblings was crucial for Corcoran. Many families face friction during such challenging times, but her family managed to share responsibilities relatively equitably. Corcoran took on the financial aspects of care, ensuring her mother’s needs were met, while other siblings divided caregiving tasks. One sister, a hospice nurse, oversaw care once their mother entered hospice.
However, not all siblings coped well. One brother struggled to witness their mother’s decline and opted to distance himself from the situation. Corcoran praises her brother T, attributing his sensitivity to being gay. “I love gay men because they’re more sensitive,” she notes, adding that T would even play along with their mother’s delusions, momentarily embodying their father to offer her comfort.
Corcoran, now a member of the sandwich generation raising young children later in life, found her kids to be a source of support throughout her mother’s illness. “Kids are more open-minded and don’t get as depressed about it,” she says. Her son and daughter, aged 18 and 8 when their grandmother died, embraced the visits with joy rather than sadness.
Looking back, Corcoran wishes she had been more emotionally open during her mother’s illness. She acknowledges that she often tried to appear stoic, feeling that it was her duty to stay strong for her family. “I probably should’ve seen a psychologist,” she admits. “I wanted to help care for her, but I felt burdened and sad.”
Corcoran emphasizes the importance of seeking support during such trying times. “There are so many support groups out there,” she says. “It’s like AA—there’s tons of support groups in every city. Get together and talk about it. That feels so good.” She has recently partnered with the online resource RecognizeAlzheimersAgitation.com, advocating for more awareness and support for families affected by Alzheimer’s.
After her mother’s passing, Corcoran grappled with her grief. “OK, it’s over. She rests in peace. She’s where she’s supposed to be,” she would tell herself, echoing the platitudes often offered by others. Yet, the reality was different; she still misses her mother deeply and feels the weight of that loss.
Today, Barbara Corcoran is not only a successful businesswoman but also a source of inspiration for many dealing with the challenges of caregiving and loss. Her openness about her mother’s Alzheimer’s battle serves as a reminder of the importance of community, support, and compassion in navigating the complexities of life and aging. As she continues to confront her own fears and honor her mother’s memory, Corcoran stands as a beacon of resilience and hope for others facing similar struggles.
