Jimmy Kimmel began his monologue Friday night by marking the two-year anniversary of the January 6th insurrection, “also known as the Bass Pro fashion show.” “Two years ago today, Donald Jennifer Trump tried to grab the steering wheel of  our democracy and drive it right into a big, beautiful wall,” the host said. “And things in Congress have been running very smoothly ever since.”

The host went on to roast McCarthy for losing so many votes in a row, despite the fact that no other Republican was actively running against him for the leadership position. “He’s like the guy, your friend at the bachelor party who’s getting beaten so badly at the black jack table you start to think about calling his wife.”

After catching viewers up on how some of the most notorious Capitol rioters are fairing today, Kimmel circled back to the current fight in the House over Kevin McCarthy’s bid to become speaker. “Hell is still breaking loose all week in the House of Representatives,” he said, noting that McCarthy had lost 13 consecutive votes by the time he taped (and 14 as of this writing, though he finally squeaked through in the 15th vote).

“Kevin McCarthy made some progress today by basically opening up a concession stand,” Kimmel added, “handing out concession after concession.” In order to gain votes, McCarthy “had to come up with something to give these people,” he explained, “and, you know what, I think he’s going to be fine with one kidney, most donors go on to live very healthy, very productive lives.”

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here